


you gotta hurt sometimes to learn to heal

by Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends



Series: Sage's Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (Virgil thinks Janus is dead/dying), Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Arguing, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Cold Weather, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death, Not Really Character Death, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepiness, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Unconsciousness, can be read as platonic but it's intended to be pre-romantic, mild insomnia, virgil yells at janus but its just because he's worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24981007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends/pseuds/Story_Teller_Of_Untold_Legends
Summary: Janus isn't great at following his own self-care advice. Virgil is too stressed out to deal with this bullshit. And on top of dealing with a cold and unconscious Janus, feelings get thrown into the mix for Virgil too.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Sage's Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1700098
Comments: 11
Kudos: 165
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	you gotta hurt sometimes to learn to heal

**Author's Note:**

> "Anger Born of Worry" prompt from my BTHB card!  
> Title from Some Kind of Disaster by All Time Low

A chill had been worming its way through the mindscape. Roman had been engaging in more wintery fantasies in the Imagination, and it seemed to have bled into the mindscape. Not that Virgil entirely minded, he wore a long-sleeved shirt  _ and _ a hoodie most of the time anyhow. But he definitely noticed that one specific other side seemed less than pleased with the situation.

Virgil had been so busy thinking about said side that he actually ran into him- Janus. The two of them stumbled back from each other, Janus ending up falling onto his back while Virgil managed to catch himself. Janus- almost weakly, it seemed- struggled upright and propped himself up on his forearms. He blinked slowly, peering up at Virgil.

“Uh… sorry. You okay?” Virgil asked, offering a hand to Janus. Janus only blinked again, regarding Virgil’s hand with mild distaste.

“I don’t need your help,” Janus muttered, slowly- no, gingerly- standing up. He looked a little wobbly on his feet, but when Virgil reached a hand out towards him, Janus shot him a withering glare.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Virgil asked warily.

“What do you think? I’m tired, it’s not like it’s the middle of the night, or anything,” Janus scoffed, clearly fighting back a yawn.

“Well, why aren’t you asleep then?” Virgil huffed, annoyed at Janus’s stubborn- stubborn  _ everything _ . He just was so infuriating, with his backwards-talk, aloof “I’m-better-than-you” attitude, sly wit, deviously charming smile… wait, what was that last one?

“I wasn’t thirsty,” Janus muttered with an eye roll, tearing Virgil from his thoughts. Virgil scowled, resisting the urge to groan aloud in irritation at Janus’s insistence on talking backwards.

“Whatever. Sorry for running into you,” Virgil said, walking away from Janus and into his room. It was late after all, maybe he should try and get some sleep.

* * *

Janus fought back another yawn as he continued to the kitchen. His unfortunate run-in with Virgil from before had made him feel more tired. Janus was beginning to hate the cold. Living in Florida meant that he didn’t have to deal with it that much. But with Roman’s recent winter fantasies, Janus was doing just  _ peachy _ with how irritable, sluggish, and sleepy he felt with the cold. He wasn’t cold-blooded, not exactly- he honestly hadn’t bothered to figure out exactly what his condition (?) was. All he knew was that his body wasn’t all that great at generating body heat, so in chillier situations, he preferred to doze in his room underneath a heating lamp and maybe some blankets. It was just  _ fantastic _ that his snake-like tendencies ran deeper than just appearances and mannerisms.

Unfortunately, in all of this, Janus had forgotten one tiny detail in his plan to doze peacefully in his warm room. He needed to be sure he stayed hydrated, otherwise regulating his body temperature could turn into overheating real fast. So that had been his mission when he had left his room, but after colliding with Virgil… things felt fuzzy.

Through muscle memory, he ended up in the kitchen. He didn’t really remember the trip there… but he was there, and that was all that mattered. Wait… why had he gone to the kitchen anyhow? He knew it was for something important- he wasn’t having trouble remembering, thinking was just… harder than before. He was just so  _ tired _ , maybe if he just rested his eyes for a moment-

The floor was much closer than it had been before. Weird. Floors shouldn’t be that close to his face- should they? No, they shouldn’t, but hey, Janus was all about being a bit backwards, wasn’t he? Maybe this made sense. Or maybe he should just close his eyes again- yes, that would be good. This was fine, Janus would be fine.

* * *

A few hours and some tossing and turning later, Virgil decided to give up on sleeping. He was just too keyed up, and his thoughts felt too loud for him to sleep. Maybe a late night (or rather early morning) snack would help. Or at the very least, a walk to the kitchen and back could help burn some restless energy.

That last part ended up being true, the walk to the kitchen had Virgil feeling lighter, less tense, but all of that got flipped on its head when he actually stepped inside. Janus was sprawled on the floor, hat lying a few inches from his head. It must have fallen off when he presumably fell, and seeing Janus without his hat was… mildly unsettling? Maybe that was the wrong word to describe it, but something about seeing Janus without his hat sent his insides squirming, although not all that unpleasantly. Virgil had never noticed how soft his hair looked… maybe that’s why it was so unsettling.

Virgil was getting distracted. He shook his head, and rushed to kneel at Janus’s side. He began to reach out towards him, but hesitated. He and Janus weren’t exactly on the best of terms, would he even want Virgil touching him? Virgil let out a sigh. He couldn’t just leave Janus lying on the floor like this. What had even happened to him?

“Janus? Hey- wake up,” Virgil said, trying to keep the nervousness out of his tone as he gently tapped the deceitful side’s face. Janus’s skin was strangely cold and clammy, and with a jolt Virgil realized that Janus didn’t seem to be  _ breathing _ . Virgil tried to not let icy cold panic grip at his heart as one hand felt the side of Janus’s neck for a pulse, while the other pulled Janus into his lap. Virgil nearly sagged in relief when he felt Janus’s pulse, as well as realizing that his chest was rising and falling- but it was far too slow. Virgil’s mind turned to frantic worrying and questioning- was Janus dying, was he sick? Or maybe he had been poisoned? He had said he was getting something to drink, was there something wrong with the water?

Virgil shivered involuntarily, and he pulled his hoodie tighter around himself- wait. Virgil felt like an idiot. It had been colder in the mindscape recently. Snakes weren’t exactly made for the cold. Janus had seemed off before… he needed to get Janus warm.

He scooped Janus up, and he didn’t like how limp he felt in his arms. He quickly but carefully carried Janus over to the couch and set him down. And as much as he didn’t want to leave him, he did dash back to the kitchen to grab Janus’s hat. Virgil didn’t want him to feel insecure without it- after all, Virgil felt better when he had his trusty hoodie- he figured Janus might feel the same way about his hat. While he was up, he also took the chance to grab a blanket. 

He rejoined Janus’s- dare he think it-  _ deathly  _ still form. He was still breathing, much slower than Virgil would have liked, but at least he was breathing. He placed Janus’s hat back on his head, and pulled him into his lap. Virgil draped the blanket over both of them, and as strange as the movement felt, he pulled Janus close against him. Well… it wasn’t exactly strange, per se. In fact, holding Janus like that- it actually felt kind of nice. 

Maybe that’s what was strange about it. The fact that Janus, someone Virgil was so convinced that he hated, actually felt nice to cuddle with. Why was Virgil even doing this in the first place? Virgil and Janus didn’t get along- Janus sure made Virgil’s job harder sometimes. Although- didn’t all of the other sides sometimes make it difficult for him to protect Thomas? And Janus was a part of Thomas, whether he wanted to admit it or not. And it probably wouldn’t be good for Thomas if Janus died… so trying to warm him up it was. And besides, deep down- Virgil wasn’t sure if he hated Janus as much as he portrayed.

* * *

The first thing Janus was aware of was the faint scent of lavender paired with the deep, earthy scent of the ground after a storm. The second thing he was aware of was that he was warm, and that there was someone’s heartbeat steadily beating against his ear. He was leaning against someone’s chest, and his eyes slowly fluttered open to see purple.  _ Virgil _ ?!

Janus sat bolt upright, nearly knocking heads with Virgil. A blanket fell off his shoulders, and pooled at his waist- where Virgil’s arms happened to be laced around. Janus’s eyes went wide. Virgil- Virgil had been  _ holding him _ ?! 

“You’re awake,” Virgil gasped, and Janus was shocked to hear the relief in his voice.

“Really? And here I thought I was having a nightmare,” Janus commented dryly. Virgil scowled, and for whatever reason Janus found himself getting distracted by the fire in Virgil’s eyes, his dark eyeshadow making him as fearsome as ever. Janus couldn’t fathom why the anxious side’s gaze had him so entranced.

“So when were you planning on telling someone-  _ anyone _ that you have issues with the cold? Or was I- I mean, were we just supposed to find you dead one morning,” Virgil fumed, his tone almost scolding if it wasn’t for how scalding his expression was. Janus sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I wasn’t  _ dying _ , Virgil,” Janus scoffed. Virgil let out an incredulous sound.

“Oh really? Then what do you call clammy skin, a barely-there pulse, and shallow breathing?!” Virgil demanded, looking like he was about ready to shove Janus off of his lap. Which would be unfortunate- Virgil was warm, and Janus wasn’t exactly in a rush to leave that warmth. That was the only reason- he definitely didn’t want to stay in Virgil’s lap because of the gentle way he held him despite his anger.

“I call it hibernation. Just… not in an ideal location,” Janus huffed.

“Hibernation?! You passed out in the kitchen!” Virgil protested.

“Like I said, not ideal,” Janus replied with a shrug. Virgil near growled in frustration.

“You’re infuriating, you know that?” Virgil snapped.

“If I’m so infuriating, then why did you go to all this fuss to warm me back up? I’m sure things  _ wouldn’t _ be easier for you if I were out of the picture,” Janus snarled, too frustrated to hold back his backwards talk. Virgil’s eyes went wide at Janus’s words, and confusion mixed with Janus’s frustration.

“Janus… I- look we may not get along, but- but that doesn’t mean I want you to die, you moron,” Virgil said, trying to go for his earlier angry tone, but it came out soft and fragile. Janus’s heart- which had previously been a little slow, according to Virgil- was now beating thunderously.

“What?” he asked, not daring to show an ounce of emotion.

“And I had some time to think while I waited for you to wake up, and it kind of occurred to me that- that I don’t think I hate you? I mean, we definitely have our differences… but I’m here to protect Thomas.  _ All _ of Thomas. And that- that includes you,” Virgil continued, refusing to meet Janus’s gaze.

“You were… worried about me?” Janus asked quietly, slowly putting the pieces together. Virgil let out a bout of surprised laughter.

“No shit! Not only is it my job to worry, but any sane person would freak out seeing someone passed out on the floor! I’m not a monster, Janus,” Virgil scoffed, still laughing slightly.

“Hmm. Could’ve fooled me,” Janus teased, but there was something… almost fond in his voice. Virgil sighed, shaking his head- but there was a small smile on his lips.

“Anyway… someone should probably tell Roman to relax with the Elsa moments,” Virgil said with a sigh. Janus hummed in agreement, taking off his hat and setting it on the endtable before snuggling back into Virgil. The anxious side let out a surprised, flustered sound, and Janus resisted the urge to smirk.

“In the morning. I’m still tired, and you’re warm,” Janus murmured with a yawn.

“It  _ is  _ morning,” Virgil pointed out with a laugh, but he brought the blanket up and over them again.

“Time is irrelevant when you haven’t slept,” Janus said, with a pointed glare to Virgil. Virgil attempted to glare back, but the yawn halfway through ruined it.

“You should follow your own advice,” Virgil huffed, even as he pulled Janus closer.

“I do follow my own advice,” Janus protested with a yawn. Virgil chuckled, and Janus nearly hummed in delight at the vibrations the sound sent through Virgil’s chest.

“Sure Jan,” he teased. Had Janus had the energy to, he would have groaned in frustration or come up with a witty comeback. But Virgil was warm, and Janus was still fighting off some residual cold-induced sleepiness, so instead he chose to snuggle into Virgil with a sigh. Or at least, those were the reasons Janus told himself he was willingly cuddling with Virgil. But deep down- there was nowhere else Janus would rather be than Virgil’s arms, due to cold or otherwise.


End file.
